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&lt;P align=left&gt;This is a home for the noble caregivers who cope and wonder how 
they do it. Jeff Miller shares his 26 years of experience helping thousands and 
thousands of seniors and their caregivers.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P align=left&gt;Send any questions about coping or caregiving you would like 
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href="mailto:askjeff@seniorsafety.com"&gt;askjeff@seniorsafety.com&lt;/A&gt;. &lt;/P&gt;</Description>
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         <Name>Arthritis can make it difficult to brush your hair</Name>
         <Summary>Arthritis healthcare products can make life a little easier.</Summary>
         <Description>&lt;p&gt;It's one of those few rainy afternoons in Los Angeles. I'm searching the web looking for things to help us in our every day lives.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Things we take for granted. Bending down to pick something up. Bending over to put your socks on. Getting the gas cap off to put gas in your car.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I found a site called &lt;a title="The Wright Stuff...healthcare products that make life easier for seniors." href="http://store.wrightstuff.biz/index.html"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Wright Stuff&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. Healthcare products that make life a little easier.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img alt="Long handle combs and brushes" hspace="0" src="http://seniorsafety.com/images/Body%20Care%20Long%20Handle%20Brushes%20and%20Combs.jpg" align="left" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Today I found a comb and brush with an extended angled handle. This is exactly what Edie needs. She can no longer get her arms over her head&amp;nbsp;because of&amp;nbsp;arthritis in her her shoulders.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Who new I could find something like this.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;I love shopping&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;...I'll keep hunting down great finds.&lt;/p&gt;</Description>
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         <Name>Senior neglect or caregiver abuse?</Name>
         <Summary>Nothing I do is right.</Summary>
         <Description>&lt;div&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lynn posed this heart wrenching question to Ask Jeff:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;How does one cope with caregiving a senior who is a bully, passive suicidal, has medical problems but nothing that would prevent him from living a full and long life.&amp;nbsp; Doctors, hospitals, assisted living, private services are some of the assistance I've tried for my dad over that last 2.5 years.&amp;nbsp; Nothing I do is right.&amp;nbsp; I've taken away his indepence, his freedom of choice, and speech, and everything familiar according to him.&amp;nbsp; I've no actual support relief except my husband.&amp;nbsp; My brother is the knight in shining armor as long as he doesn't have to make the decisions or do the action.&amp;nbsp; He's full of advice of stuff for me to do&amp;nbsp;though.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;Yes, I'm burned out, frustrated, depressed, guilty, and avoided doing things with and for my dad with every single day that passes.&amp;nbsp; There is no one else though.&amp;nbsp; He won't help himself and his choices&amp;nbsp;for himself are not always the best.&amp;nbsp; Dad's estate lawyer wants me to talk with him privately to give me options over legal guardianship, etc.&amp;nbsp; Besides the fact this is going on behind my father's back, it's going to cost money my husband and I don't have.&amp;nbsp; Caregiver support groups are probably the answer but I feel that I'm wasting their time.&amp;nbsp; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I found your site by trying to search about medical alert systems.&amp;nbsp; I still don't know about those, but I think they would be good for me.&amp;nbsp; My dad would probably rip them out.&amp;nbsp; He's not a fan of being monitored (feels like he's in a prison).&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;I've tried to cut back on my time to just once a week over there (1 hour away), but I find myself trying to stretch it out even longer every time.&amp;nbsp; Much of me hates him for what he's done to me, my family, my mom and himself.&amp;nbsp; Much of me knows I should be more compassionate and loving, but he's not a lovable person anymore.&amp;nbsp; Where is the line drawn between senior neglect and caregiver abuse?&lt;/div&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Lynn, your questions and situation&amp;nbsp;took my breath away. What a difficult situation.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Your statement:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;font color="#000000"&gt;&amp;quot;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;font color="#000000"&gt;Yes, I'm burned out, frustrated, depressed, guilty, and avoided doing things with and for my dad with every single day that passes.&amp;quot; &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;In my humble opinion...you need a break, regardless of the situation. I'd start with shouting out the loudest primal scream I could...then, start to engage your brother the &amp;quot;knight in shining armor&amp;quot; to get up off his duff and provide you and your dad some most needed support.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Since you have stated that, &amp;quot;...he has medical problems but nothing that would prevent him (your dad) from living a full and long life.&amp;quot;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Take a break...you desparetly need one. Throw some of that guilt back at your dad and brother. In my opinion, they are both taking advantage of your caring, guilt, and personality.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Change the way you behave...and force them to adjust and change their attitudes.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;YOU CAN'T KEEP GOING THE WAY YOU ARE!&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Who is going to pick you up once you've collapsed?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Caregiver support groups would be a great start...don't worry about wasting their time...YOU NEED SOME HELP.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&amp;quot;Where is the line drawn beween senior neglect and caregiver abuse?&amp;quot; Listen to yourself, you are abusing the caregiver. I can't reiterate enough times...give yourself a break.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Let your husband, brother, and caregiver support groups give you a break. What would happen if you totally collapsed? Who would take over?&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Breath deeply...step outside the box you are in...and seek help.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;I feel and hurt for you...you need more help right now than your dad does.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;You are not superwoman...she is only a fictional character in a comic strip.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Give yourself a break. I hear you, and so can your family.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;I hope this helps.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;Jeff&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;font color="#0000cc"&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</Description>
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